As I sit here yet again, unable to sleep through the night. Putting some hope in a warm cup of tea to lull me back to sleep. I reach into my Bible apps for some words of encouragement. As always, God answered with loving scriptures that remind me that there is nothing in my life the He doesn’t have His hands on. Even this sickness is within His control.

I look for answers to my sickness a lot. As I write this I am awaiting results of a genetic test. I keep telling myself if I would just like a name. If I had a name I at least would be able to know a little more. At least I would be able to research and possibly obtain some insight on how to make life a little easier and not so frustrating.

As I read this morning, none of that matters. I am gently reminded that there are much more important things in life to explore. One of which is that I have been given a voice. I am not unique, every single person on earth has been given this same gift. It’s a gift that we can choose to use or not to use. It’s a gift where we can take our journey in this life and tell our story to others. Even thought my gift is not unique, my journey is unique. No two people walk the same journey. Even if we have the same disease, we experience it differently. That’s the beauty of our stories. In the ugliest disease, a beautiful journey may be hidden.

It’s beautiful that we can use our unique journeys to encourage others, comfort others, and walk a similar journey with others. We can choose to overcome the tears and the sorrow we face every day and look to our Creator. When my eyes are lifted up to Him, I no longer worry. I no longer focus on myself, but in Him.

With a changed focus I can record bits and pieces of my journey with purpose. I can reveal how He continues to lead me through even my darkest days. I notice opportunities to see the blessings in life and the beauty in settling into peace.

There have been an insurmountable amount of questions over the years and many many tears. God has never missed a day of walking with me. He waits daily with me. He’s with me as I discover things that were hidden before. He is patient with me as I learn the same thing over and over again. He rejoices with me and comforts me when I feel the weight of my negative thoughts.

He ushers in purpose and I am reminded that I only have one thing I am called to do on this earth. I am to simply love Him with all my heart, all my soul, and all my might. Everything else is extra and often the extra is more than I can dream of involving myself in. In these times, I can simply snuggle in and rest in God’s love. I can rest and wrap myself in the fact that He just loves me. Plain and simple. I need not do any tasks to gain His love. He gives it freely to me. This broken body and the person who dwells in it is loved by the creator of the universe.

All of the other things, the mountain of things that my mind will run off with, does not matter. He matters, my love for Him matters, and His love for me matters. Breaking life down into that one sentence releases all the weight my mind piles on my shoulders.

My heart wants so much, my mind wants to do so much, my body is on strike against them in an everyday struggle.

“Be Still”. We are told to be still and know the He is God. We have permission from the only One who matters to let go of every expectation, to unpile all the things we think we need to do or should do, and start unburdened each day stripped of everything but Him.

We are told that He will lead us by still waters. This morning my heart needed to spend some time by those still waters. My mind needed some time to be still and listen for His voice, my emotions needed to settle and feel the peace of imagining sitting with my Lord and Savior and just letting Him love me.

In a minute the house will wake up and the day will start. I will have plenty of opportunities to share the voice that God has given me with my family, friends, and complete strangers. May I remember the peace I have this morning and walk in that all day long.

Our bodies my be unwell, but our souls can be completely fulfilled and enjoying peace that surpasses all Earthly understanding. may you live in peace today and everyday, as we sit forever at His feet.