It’s been a while since I have posted. I’ve had a period of an upswing in symptoms and then the journey to healing that always follows. These times of radio silence are periods of growth for me. I don’t know if I would ever be still if not for the flares.

I do not enjoy the pain, sadness, and desperation I feel during these times, but I do appreciate the growth that results from these periods in my life. We find the command to ” be still” in Psalm 46:10. I have never been a person who is great at being still. Well, until I became chronically ill that is. During times I experience a resurgence in symptoms, I have no choice but to be still. Somehow my mind refocuses on the things that really matter. I draw closer to God and we have the most conversations and I pray more often during these times. These flares also remind me of the countless other chronic illness warriors that are in the world.

Yes, I pray for you. I pray for your strength, determination, and health. I pray for your impact on the world. I pray for those who will cross your path. I pray you will not give up. I pray God will place an encourager in your life and that you will find a new sense of purpose daily. Just because we are sick doesn’t mean this is all there is for us. I pray for your journey.

We are told when we are younger that the sky is the limit for what we would like to do in life. Having a chronic illness seems to stifle that, but our illnesses just give us another aspect of our lives to grow from. It’s hard, especially in times of great pain. Pain messes with our minds. It’s relentless. We feel useless and fearful. What are we going to do to add to the world if our lives consist of just the victory of getting a shower?

We add to the world by how we live our lives. It is amazing how the choices you make influence others. You do not even need to be intentional to influence others. You are simply always doing it. Those around you, those who know your name, and those who hear stories about you who you have yet to meet. Your life influences people who you may never meet, just by a friend telling someone of your story. “Yes, I have a friend that is always sick and she…”

These times of silence help me to be a better influence on those around me. They are times that I have no choice but to reflect on my recent past. Times that I can mentally retreat while I rest and seek guidance from God. While my body recharges, my mind can recharge. This doesn’t always happen in the most beautiful way. Sometimes I am hurting and sad. Sometimes I might as well be sitting in that boat with the Apostles, weathering a horrible storm, and scared to death. Instead of waking Jesus, I just sit there and get beat up. I get soaked and thrown around in the waves of my illness and limitations, and forget to reach out to my Savior.

Being sick is hard. Being still and knowing God is the game changer. Psalm 46:10 is the game changer. He is our refuge and strength in times of trouble (Psalm 46:1), and I can’t think of more times I have needed a refuge and needed strength than when I am dealing with my chronic illness. I can’t think of a time I needed encouragement, love, or guidance more than when I am in a flare.

My encouragement to you is to try to embrace the times of radio silence as best you can. See it as a time to spend more time with Your Lord and Savior. See it as a time to reflect and to listen. Pratice being still and soak up all the food that comes from it.

May we forever be at the foot of grace